When you are a teenager and trying to make sense of the world, it can feel as if you are the only one who has ever gone through the experience. Figuring out and becoming comfortable with your sexual orientation (whether you are attracted to girls, boys, or both) and your gender identity (whether you feel male or female) is part of growing up. You may feel alone, afraid, or pain about being different. It is important to know that you are not alone. There are other kids struggling with the same issues, who feel like they need to hide to be accepted – or to stay safe. Being gay, lesbian or bisexual, trans, queer or questioning is not wrong. It does not mean you are sick and it is not a disorder of any kind. It is simply a part of who you are.
We know that far too many LGBTQ students do not feel safe at school and in the community. They experience higher rates of bullying and harassment and have an increased risk of experiencing depression or committing suicide. Bullying and harassment about LGBTQ issues is not OK and should never be accepted. All people have the right to be treated with respect regardless of their sexual orientation and gender identity. All people have the responsibility to stand up and speak out against bullying.
Sexual Orientation
A person’s feelings of romantic or sexual attraction to another person. Sexual orientation is categorized in the following ways:
- Heterosexual: Romantic or sexual attraction to the opposite sex: males attracted to females, females attracted to males.
- Lesbian: A female who is romantically or sexually attracted to other females.
- Gay: A male who is romantically or sexually attracted to other males.
- Bi-Sexual: A male or female who is romantically or sexually attracted to both sexes.
- Queer or Questioning: Some people find the above terms oppressive and do not identify with them, and instead prefer the term “queer”. Others are still in the process of determining their sexual orientation and go with the term “questioning”; it can be a confusing process, often only becoming clearer as one matures into adulthood.
Transgender
A person whose gender identity, gender expression, or anatomy (i.e., how they look or act) does not fit into the conventional expectations associated with being male or female. They are frequently assumed to be bisexual, lesbian, or gay, but this may or may not be true.
Transsexual
A person who experiences intense personal and emotional discomfort with the gender they were assigned at birth. Some transsexual individuals may undergo treatments to physically alter their body and gender expression to correspond with what they feel their true gender is.
Two Spirit
Some Indigenous people identify themselves as Two Spirit rather than as lesbian, gay, bisexual or transgender. Historically, two-spirited persons were often respected as leaders for their unique abilities to understand both male and female perspectives.
References: American Psychological Association (2011) Definition of terms: Sex, gender identity, sexual orientation. Retrieved from http:www.apa.org/pi/lgbt/resources/sexuality-defibitions.pdf
“Coming out” is the term used to describe the process of personally accepting your sexual orientation and revealing it to others. When and to whom someone decides to come out is a personal decision. It can be a freeing experience for some who find they can finally openly acknowledge how they feel and explore deep and meaningful relationships without the fear of being found out. But for others, it can be frightening and potentially dangerous; relationships and friendships may change, harassment or discrimination may occur, and some youth may risk being thrown out of home if their parents are not supportive, meaning they could lose their emotional and financial security.
Making it Better
Every student has the right to feel safe at school, and school personnel have the responsibility to create safe learning environments for everyone. Educating parents, teachers, and other teenagers about the reality of life as an LGBTQ youth is key. Many high schools in Canada are forming gay/straight alliances to create safer, more inclusive schools. To find out if there is a GSA in your area, or to get more information about how to start one at your school, check out MyGSA.ca Canada’s website for safer and inclusive schools for the lesbian, gay, bisexual, trans, queer and questioning (LGBTQ) community.
If you are scared or confused and need help, or want your parents to talk to someone who can help explain what you are going through, contact PFLAG Canada (1-888-530-6777) Canada’s only national organization that helps all Canadians with issues of sexual orientation, gender identity and gender expression. PFLAG Canada supports, educates and provides resources to all individuals with questions or concerns, 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.
Remember, you are not alone. And yes, it does get better.
References: The Society of Obstetricians and Gynaecologists of Canada (SOGC)
Sexual Health: Sexual Orientation and Coming Out
Retrieved from: https://www.sexandu.ca/lgbttq/coming-out/
